two forms

i had class,

but on this particular day, I knew I wasn’t going when I got out of bed.

i’d opened my eyes and decided I couldn’t stand sitting there doing anything I didn’t want to.

i went to the library instead, the flat gray building in between the only two I ever go in anymore. i got to the Bukowski, and sat down. hardly anyone bothers the books here at all, never mind the poetry. i sat there for the entire period, calculating how I would get from my usual seat in class to at least one of these books on the shelf. according to most of these books, the answer isn’t in one of the plastic chairs.

i searched for a piece of paper to jot on, there was a withdrawal form i filled out and carried with me.

i wrote this on the back instead.

some people just fall into writing. some people choose to every day.

ii.

i had class,

but on this particular day, I didn’t know whether I was going until I got out of bed.

i’d opened my eyes so many times, and on this day I decided I could no longer stand doing what felt like I shouldn’t.

i went to the admissions office instead, the flat tan building between the only two I ever went into.

i got to the desk, and waited. hardly anyone bothers the people that come here at all, never mind the paperwork. i stood there for the entire period, calculating how I would get from this office to at least one of the collections of classic poetry. according to most of them, the answer isn’t in any of these buildings.

i searched myself for a bit of courage to survive on, and was given a withdrawal form.

that I filled out

and immediately returned to the receptionist.

some people just fall into withdrawing. some people choose to every day.

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